Texting causes more doc visits than push-ups!

Your excuse, ooh I’m sorry, I mean…your “concern”:

“I don’t do push-ups BECAUSE my wrists hurt.”

My snippy, snappy, smart-asset answer:

“You don’t do push-ups SO your wrists hurt.”

Push up ice cream

NO, not THAT push-up, smart asset!

 

Oh doncha worry sista (or brotha)

I joyfully address many of your excuses, ooh I’m sorry again, I mean “concerns” on by blog and in my book: Move Your Assets: From the Chair, Not the Bank! But I have to give you a mental poch in tuchus (slap in your assets) because you are still blaming that 16 second trek up the steps for that devastating injury to your knees rather than the 16 hours per day you spend off of your feet and on your seat…literally!

So many peops, kvetch about aching joints including knees, wrists, back, and hips and are clueless to the fact that if their “shut down” muscles were woken up again, their joints wouldn’t be taken the brunt of the movement. HMM, are you one of these peops? I superbly address all of your gripes in my book, including “I can’t run BECAUSE my knees hurt” which of course should read, “I can’t run SO my knees hurt.”

Texting tendonitis

Texting Tendonitis? Wait…WHAT?

Even though I LOVE to elaborate on waking up sleeping assets (mainly the “glutes”) as a cure for most knee pain, I made the push-up the focus of this blog because most women will avoid it like the plague. In fact, I am usually the only woman in any class doing manly push-ups as well as planks on my hands. Too many women (and some men too) complain of “painful” or “weak” wrists and actually avoid exercises that will beautifully strengthen the muscles of hands, the forearms and upper arms allowing wrists to basically come along for the ride and be pain free. In fact, more doctors see WAY more sedentary peops with texting tendonitis than wrist pain due to push-ups, planks, or lotza “downward dogs” in Yoga. Ask your favorite orthopedist for yourself.

I couldn’t do one push-up in my twenties

You might have caught a glimpse of this beaut in a previous blog post

Bethy white hair

No this is not a zoo creature, this is moi’ at 19.

 

And you can read much more about my transition from punk queen to Asset Queen in the book. At my ripe old age of 19 I was more likely to tattoo a skull on my assets than to actually move them. It wouldn’t shock you to know that I could not do one push-up for the first few decades of my life. I had lots of aches and ailments including meshuganitis, of course. Among other kvetches, I remember my right wrist always hurting in school and then subsiding in the summer. (HMM…writing rather than texting tendonitis.) Fast forward to fit and fiftyish Bethy…

Bethy pushup

I can do dozens of push-ups and my wrists NEVER hurt! Of course, I make all of my clients do push-ups, planks and downward dogs and I don’t hear one kvetch about the wrists. Keep in mind, I am younger than almost all of my clients, including this legendary duo…

 

 

 

 

 

Dick and dottie plank

Meet 80 year young Dots, the energizer bunny, and her studly 83 year young hubby Dick

 

There are 650ish (skeletal) muscles in the body…

…and many of us have literally “shut down” HALF of them by placing them up on cinder blocks for the past 30 years, kinda like that jalopy in your neighbors driveway. Practicing push-ups, planks and down dogs will not only get your arms fit and lean and diminish the appearance of upper arms that seemingly flap in the wind when there is no wind, they can literally STOP needless wrist and elbow pain. It’s time to stop using that horrendous hopscotch injury that you sustained in middle school as the culprit behind your current kvetching and move your assets NOW. Even if it means skipping the drive-thru and actually walking into Starbucks when you get your 800 calorie Mocha Choca lata yaya!! Don’t get me started about lattes, and drive-thrus, and shopping carts, OH MY!

“My mission is NOT to make you an Olympic athlete; it is to PREVENT you from being the star of the ‘I’ve fallen and I can’t get up commercial!’ Stick with me so there will be no slow-moving motorized scooters, no grab bars installed by your toilette’, and no deprivation diets ever again… in YOUR future!”—Luv, The Asset Queen

Bethanne Weiss B.S., is an Orlando based motivational speaker, author, and ACE-certified fitness and nutrition profession with 30 years of moving assets from chairs and changing lives. MoveYourAssets.com

Love my AQ wisdom? You can read lots more in my book, Move Your Assets: From the Chair, Not the Bank! 

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Email: Bethanne@moveyourassets.com

crownandaqlogosmall

 

Results ARE typical: FUNIQ total body reno M & W 9:30 AM

Peops are always asking me: Bethy, what do you do to stay so, uh, svelt?

You will have to order my book, Move Your Assets: From the Chair, Not the Bank! to learn most of my deep dark secrets AND you can join me on Mondays and Wednesdays for:

FUNIQ Total Body Renovation

 9:30 – 10:30 AM  

Those three infamous words, "results NOT typical" in microscopic print on every ad, pic and infomercial for the latest and greatest "lose weight fast" diet, pill, potion and lotion motivated me to post these…

Exhibit A: Moi in my late 20s 

Bethy before 28

 

Exhibit B: Moi in my (very) late 40s

Tights 2


Not only do the bodies of my clients and I jiggle less than ever, we also kvetch a lot less about chronic ailments and pains in the knees, spine and assets (sorry, can't help with that big pain you're married too :)!) 

Results ARE absolutely typical when you move your assets with me and I promise:

  • No airbrushing or editing in any of my pics, or my clients pics. I wish exhibit A was airbrushed 🙁
  • Never did I use the latest and greatest multi-level marketing pills, potions, lotions and injections of any type.
  • The only skin treatment I use is my own shvitz (sounds prettier than sweat) and my skin is like a baby's assets.
  • Never ever did I have anything surgically added or removed from my bod…except of course for a ruptured disc in my spine in my late 40s and one wisdom tooth in my late 20s. At 50, I can still fly around like Wonder Woman despite two back-to-back surgeries just two years ago.

 

So if you're ready to finally join me and get into awesome shape, whilst jiggling and kvetching less than ever, reserve your space now by emailing me at Bethanne@moveyourassets.com. Classes are only $60 for 5! Space is limited to 5 new participants so hurry! I will send you specific info when you email.

 

Have you eaten your crap today?? Yeah, you probably did.

You’re still not getting it. How do I know? Hmmm let’s see…I watch you:

  • Pull the rice out of an innocent sushi roll and replace it with solid fat cream cheese. You’d really get the sushi chefs a little verdreht in Japan.
  • Throw away a 100-calorie hamburger bun whilst reaching for a 2nd burger smothered in almost solid fat cheese, which has 5 times the calories and 80 times the fat of the innocent bun, even if it’s not the preferred whole grain bread.
  • Order “a bunch of fats and a little protein on a bed of water,” aka Cobb Salad, and you even poured that side of dressing right on it. Those “little” side cups are 2 to 4 ounces; dressing has 100 calories per ounce… come on, even we can do the math on that!
  • Eat sugar-laden “protein” bars as a meal.

And don’t get me started with you “bagel scoopers.” I’ll really give it to you good in my book! In fact you guys (and gals) are my niche market!

Bethy's trick quiz

Maybe this picture will once and for all slap you upside your carbophobic head. Yumm….Moo Goo Gai Pan. Look closely cuz this may be a trick quiz:

Chinese food sauce
You’ve decided that it’s time to eat healthier and cut down on some of the crap that you consume on a daily basis. Look at that picture and tell me what you should avoid?

We are talking in general here so stop with your “Is it organic?” and “I’m a vegetarian!” specific smart asset back talk (LOL!).

Ok, here is a hint…that “bowl of soup” you see in the picture is actually the sauce on the side!! When I put my finger in, it was oily to the touch.

That sauce, which normally you let your friendly chef smother your food in, contains HUNDREDS of empty calories mostly from fat, whilst that innocent brown rice that you may have shoved aside has no fat and is chuck full of nutrients (ie, it’s nutrient dense.)

One of my clients, Diana, who’s been to China 6 or 7 times, says the food she sees in Chinese restaurants in the US bears no resemblance to the food you see in China. They do sauce the meat and veggies when they stir-fry them but it's not oily and it would never be that size bowl even for an entire wok of food…ewww!

In fact, you don't see obese people in China — except the ones who eat at all the new American fast-food restaurants that we’ve sadly exported to them! DUH!

My "app" for your smartphone

In case you are not aware, plug this little equation into your smartphone and pull it out when you’re about to ignore the carbs and eat the fat:

Fat has 9 calories per gram while carbohydrates and proteins have 4 calories per gram.

You don’t have to be a mathematician to understand that fat has MORE THAN TWICE the calories of the latter two nutrients. And people, sausage and bacon are NOT proteins! They contain mostly fat.

Please pause and absorb (and preferably pace while doing this) the profanity…whoops, I think I mean profundity…of this fact:

If you consume more than 50% of your diet from fatty foods, then a large portion of YOU will be fat!

You are ABSOLUTELY what you eat. This excess fat will show up under your skin — it’s that wobbly, puckered stuff that that you keep squeezing when you ask me how to get rid of it. That excess fat will also (not so obviously) show up in your organs and in your veins and arteries and you will be told that your (bad) cholesterol is high.

Take it from me (whose plate of food that is in the picture) and load up on those nutrient dense foods and cut the crap. If at least half of your consumption comes from vegetables and/or fruits, those issues that you bark about in the previous paragraph will be a thing of the past.

Of course, moving your assets most of the day is the first part of Bethy's Commandment 11:

Thou shalt move more and eat less (crap).

Much more about cutting crap and the 11th commandment in my upcoming book, Move Your Assets: From the Chair Not the Bank!

Tales from the Trail – Families and rats and smells, OH MY!!

It’s 7:15 on a Saturday morning and I’m on the Seminole-Wekiva Trail. Just a 30-minute walk for me today cuz I don’t want to get too shvitzy. I have a 3½-hour hot date with my car and my hubby cuz we are heading to South Florida at 8 am.

And you know me: If I’m going to sit for that long, any kind of asset moving to precede the asset sitting will work for me!

Of course I will make some potty stops on the Florida Turnpike, park extra far away, and move my assets by not plotzing on the filthy public toilette’. (EWW!)

Yes, you can read more invaluable TMI tips in my book, Move Your Assets: From the Chair Not the Bank!

But let’s get back to the Trail…amongst the chirping birds…

Birds 1
Smells of urine from who knows what kind of creatures that lurk in the night…

Animals at night

Squirrels…

Squirrels
And yes even a lovely rat (he was hanging out with the squirrels, so he almost had me fooled; but his tail was long and skinny and not bushy like his buddies…EWW! again)…
Rat

In the midst of this early-morning scene are droves of people of all ages and fitness levels, walking, running, biking, rollerblading, swimming…uh, just kidding about the latter :). I don’t have my camera phone today so you will have to take my word for this and view lovely and free stock photos of rodents.

It’s amazing how many people just get it: the importance of starting the day with asset moving to bring more joy, reduce stress, and open up creativity channels as well as pooping channels…you already know moi’ has to sneak in a TMI benefit, or two or twenty. You are well aware that the asset-moving benefits list is simply endless, especially if you’ve read that legendary section in my book “why should I move my assets when they don’t want to move?”

Amongst the grandparents with their grandkids (all 4 on bicycles), Bill the 80-something marathon runner, and girlfriends gossiping about their boyfriends, is one family that really catches my attention.

Remember it’s 7:15 in the morning!

I’ve seen them before and have not yet stopped them for an interview, but check this out. They are a very fit couple probably late 30s or early 40s. Hubby is jogging with 2 toddlers in a double stroller. Mom is jogging with 7ish-year-old daughter on bicycle by her side.

And to top this all off, mom is very obviously pregnant!

So, wait a minute…we kvetch and moan about how difficult it is to get our assets up and out.

We complain about how lazy our kids are when they witness us pulling up to drive thrus, playing words with friends for hours, looking for the spot closest to the store and leaving the freakin’ shopping cart in the midst of the parking lot (don’t get me started with this pet peeve now).

This family of 5½ is up and out asset moving whilst most of us are eating bacon, sausage, and jelly donuts plotzed on our assets, or maybe even contemplating actually moving out of bed before 10am!

“Your children will become who you are, so be who you want them to be.” –David Bly 

Let me share something with you: Active parents tend to have active kids! It starts from you!

So rethink your weekend mornings and start the day with a healthy family stroll rather than a fatty family breakfast.

Join the rest of us asset movers (and rats) who know there is no better way to bring joy to your day and your life!

Joy

Love my AQ wisdom? You can read lots more in my book, Move Your Assets: From the Chair, Not the Bank! 

Bethanne Weiss B.S., is an Orlando based motivational speaker, author, and ACE-certified fitness and nutrition profession with 30 years of moving assets from chairs and changing lives. MoveYourAssets.com

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Email: Bethanne@moveyourassets.com

Me? A smoking punk rocker? (Yes, there’s a photo!)

Shhh, don't tell anyone, but I’m giving you a sneak peak at some never-before-revealed material from my upcoming book Move Your Assets: From the chair not the bank.

I’m inspired to reveal this photo (be very frightened) of myself because just the other day someone at the gym said to me, “I’ve bet you always been in great shape, even as a kid!”

Uh…no???!!!!

Punk Bethy on motorcycle - tweaked

Yes, that's me at 19!

Yes, that beaut is really me at 19 equipped with motorcycle, beer, and cigarette.

Back then I'm sure that getting a tattoo of a skull on my “assets” was more appealing to me than moving them! I’m glad I didn’t go for the former -– wheeewwwww!

I know you’re asking yourself, “What the heck was she thinking?” 

I can’t really answer that but at the time I thought I was the hottest thing on the planet. I don’t think anyone else did, however (except maybe one of my punk rocker boyfriends, Falcon Crest).

At 19 years old I was hopelessly out of shape, bored with sitting in a classroom for 15 years in a row, and I needed a change, so it was time for me to take the next logical step! 

Yes, I did what any other Jewish female from New York with 2-toned spiked hair would do: I joined the Army!

Needless to say, that experience did not work out too well for me. I know you’re dying to know what happened after I got shot in the assets at Fort McClellan Alabama. Just kidding…I actually was honorably (and medically) discharged after three months because I was SO out of shape! This time I'm NOT kidding!

You'll read much more in my book about "Private Bethanne" and how I eventually turned into the lean, mean, moving machine that I am today…

Bethanne Weiss (after)

Yes, that's me at 45! (I'm 47 now!)

You'll also read many other real-life amazing stories from an amazing cast of characters.

And you’ll not only learn what happened to moi…but you’ll also find out how to get rid of your own aches, pains, diseases, and unwanted fat, and how to wake up your own sleeping muscles — just by moving your assets and eating less crap!

Stay tuned…maybe I'll post another never-before-revealed excerpt (and another stunning "before" photo) right here…

“No” to the dreaded New Year’s resolutions!

 

Happy New Year 4Happy New Year! If you MUST make a resolution for 2013…vow to NEVER diet again!

I'm always telling you that it's the CRAP not the CARBS that are making you fat, but many of you still refuse to buy into it — and you have the high cholesterol and lots of dimply fat all over your body to prove it!

You forced me into writing Move Your Assets: From the Chair Not the Bank to "smack you upside your head" and debunk your myths and misconceptions about what it means to be a healthy eater — and, of course, how and why to move your assets!

So this awesome article supports my entire eating healthier philosophy with a bunch of documented studies.

Wow, all you had to do was read my book and you would already know all this.

Oh wait, my book is not ready yet…but you can read my blog posts, which give you all the ammo you need to move your assets daily and be a healthy eater daily!

That is the absolute best way to begin 2013 — and you don't need a resolution to do it!

Happy New Year 2

 

Bethy’s thought of the day: Still mad you “only” lost 1 pound?

This puts things in perspective for me — how about you?

Pound of fat
So don't be envious of your buddy who lost 10 pounds of water on that ridiculous "no-carb diet" in one week!

Big thanks to my buds at Recipes for Gals in Figure and BodyBuilding for the super image!

 

Take a stand to strengthen your core

Even if you don’t have a degree in anatomy or kinesiology, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist (or an exercise physiologist) to realize that very few injuries take place when you are lying on your back (unless you are an NFL player just lounging on his back on the football field and a 300-pound linebacker decides to swan dive onto you!).

This is why I never understood why the majority of core strengthening has historically been done lying face up on your back…eg all sorts of crunches.  More recently, the plank has been introduced into the mix. 

Most of us veteran instructors know that what goes forwards must also go backwards, so we’ve been doing back extensions as well as flexion (crunches) exercises for years.

As long as I’ve been teaching (almost 25 years,) I’ve emphasized the importance of “core” strengthening in a standing, moving, and twisting position as well as in a seated or lying position (side lying, supine or prone.) 

If you have a strong core, as a result of doing functional exercises like the ones I teach in a FUNIQ class, your likelihood of getting injured when you are performing “life” tasks will be dramatically reduced! 

Don’t get me wrong, we also do a variety of sitting and lying core strengthening exercises such as crunches and planks as well, which will really help improve your posture when you’re watching TV or driving your car. 

Read more here from International Dance Exercise Association (IDEA) Publications, one of the best resources for fitness and wellness professionals.

Lose that belly fat for good!

I know, I know…you're almost one month into your “new year, new you” mode and you’re getting a little antsy! Those great headlines lured you right in, didn’t they?

“Lose 50 pounds in two days!”

“Get rid of cellulite NOW, just by wishing it away!”

“Massage that belly fat right off!”

Those quick-fix headlines never seem to keep their promise, though they sure get you to buy the magazines, don’t they? 

You need to have a “Kumbaya” moment and come to terms with the fact that being fit and healthy is a lifestyle commitment and not a quick fix that will yield long-term results. 

When you read my book, Move Your Assets: From the chair, not the bank, this will all make total sense to you. 

But for now let me specifically address that stubborn “kangaroo pouch” you’ve been carrying around for years. 

  Kangaroo 2

I’m referring to that belly bulge you like to show me and ask, “How do I get rid of this?”

You want me to tell you that 250 crunches per night will get rid of it…but that ABSOLUTELY will not! I say this till I’m blue in the face, but you cannot pick an area on your body where fat likes to “sit” and exercise just that area to get rid of the fat (aka spot reduction). It is IMPOSSIBLE to get rid of fat that way!

The only way to get rid of excess body fat

The only way to get rid of excess body fat is to burn more calories than you take in. And ladies, that 30-minute walk will not offset those excess calories…sorry! 

You might need to eat less (you will be surprised how many calories you are actually consuming; almost everyone is) and MOVE YOUR ENTIRE BODY (the way G-d meant you to!).

You KNOW that I’m a huge fan of moving your body up, down, forwards, backwards, side to side, picking things up, punching, kicking, bending, dancing, etc.–aka circuit training, which is what FUNIQ actually is.

Even Jillian Michaels agrees with me (and she’s a lot meaner than I am, LOL). Everything I've just said is also in this article, which you can read here.

  Kangaroo 3

The #1 cure for EVERYTHING that’s ailing you!

Please watch this fascinating video from Dr. Mike Evans, “23½ Hours, What is the single best thing we can do for our health,” from beginning to end!

 

 

When you finish, please post your comments on my blog here and let me know what you think!