“It’s the most fattening, I mean most wonderful, time of the year!”

But don't worry — I’ve got great tips!

I know you moaned, groaned and complained after you “stuffed” yourself like a turkey (pun intended) a few weeks ago. 

 

Turkey

And with holiday parties galore, you're going to hold your belly and kvetch that you gained 10 pounds.

And you’re going to sit around (on your assets) after every holiday dinner and feel even more bloated!

 

Bloated

I’m going to help you feel a lot better so don’t be so hard on yourself! The truth is, you didn’t gain one pound of fat, in one sitting, even after gorging yourself.

Don't panic!

There are about 3,500 calories in a pound of fat, so you would have to consume an extra 3,500 calories on top of what your body requires in order to gain a pound of fat. BTW a pound of fat is equivalent to eating 4 sticks of butta (New Yawk for butter…EEEWWW what a visual!). It’s really hard to consume that much in one sitting.

Yes, in a few days you can consume that much and gain that pound of fat, but after one huge meal you’re just feeling the fullness. And don't forget peops,food and drink have weight. Weight is relative so if you consumed two pounds worth of food and booze, you will weigh two pounds more after your meal…DUH! When I put it that way it makes sense, right? But you did not accumulate two pounds of fat on your person, given the above little formula. I don't care if you suck at math, you can follow me here! Oh don't worry sista (or brotha), I'll be throwin' lotza math and science at ya in my book, Move Your Assets: From the Chair, Not the Bank!

The worst thing you can do after a big dinner is to stay seated all night. The best thing you can do is get up and Move Your Assets (another shameless book plug!)

Invite the posse on a "digestion walk"

It is not rude to go take a walk; encourage your guests to come with you. Not only will you feel so much less bloated because you’ll have helped to speed up the digestion process, but your stress will just melt away. And you’ll burn some extra calories. I actually have peops, hubby and kiddies included, inviting moi on digestion walks…it really catches on!

My 8 super tips!

Here are some great tips to keep you fit through the holidays:

1. Take a walk. Resist the urge to plop on the couch after a big dinner. Before you sit down to eat and after you finish, take a short walk. At least 20 minutes will do it. 

2. Shake and dance! While you're preparing food, put on your favorite music and shake, dance, and move. It adds more fun to your cooking and burns quite a bit more calories.


Latkes 1When I know I’ll be serving potato latkes as part of Hanukkah dinner, I move around as much as I can before and after.

In fact, I keep an iPod dock in my kitchen and dance to Lady Gaga and Shakira as I’m prepping and frying. (You'll read a lot more about latkes and Grandma Sylvia–no draining or blotting for her!–in my book.)

3. Avoid the greasy, saucy, goopy stuff. Eat foods that are closest to the version that God created! You can’t go wrong! I know it's not easy when you face a buffet of Aunt Sadie's casseroles, but if half your consumption is from fresh or frozen veggies, fruit, or beans, you may have less room for the calorie-laden stuff. Avoid the greasy, saucy stuff or eat very little.  Spice up your white meat turkey rather than pouring gravy on it.

4. Move it! If you do indulge, move around after dinner. Here’s a chart that tells you how much exercise it will take to burn off that apple pie and ice cream you just scarfed down. (1-1/2 hours of hiking should do it.)

5. Stand up. Encourage your guests (and yourself) to stand as much as possible while socializing.  Helping the host clean up earns lots of brownie points (especially if it's your mother-in-law Harriet) and burns lots more calories than plotzing whilst shmoozing all night! OY VEY!

6. Reward yourself. For every gift you purchase for someone, reward yourself with 30 minutes of asset moving. So 10 gifts…you earned 5 hours of being fit for YOU! Walk,dance, yoga, whatever you wish!

7. Don't wait! Please don’t wait til January 1 to start moving again. Don’t use the logic, “I’m eating so much; I’ll wait till next year!” Wrong! Keep moving through this holiday season–like you never moved before–and you will not add the jiggles to your jingles (huh?) Most importantly, you'll kvetch a lot less about aches, ailments and bloating.

8. Spend a guilt-free day! Instead of spending a full day at the way-too-crowded mall, spend an hour or so working off your December feasting. You'll feel amazing (instead of guilty) when you're done!

Contact moi, The Asset Queen, to assist with your asset-moving and crap-cutting!

 Bethanne@moveyourassets.com

 

Your excuse, ooh I’m sorry, I mean…your “concern”

Your excuse, ooh I’m sorry, I mean…your “concern”:

“I don’t do push-ups BECAUSE my wrists hurt.”

My snippy, snappy, smart-asset answer:

“You don’t do pushups SO your wrists hurt.”

Push up ice cream

NO, not THAT push-up, smart asset!

 

Oh doncha worry sista (or brotha)

I joyfully address many of your excuses, ooh I’m sorry again, I mean “concerns” on by blog and in my book: Move Your Assets: From the Chair, Not the Bank! But I have to give you a mental poch in tuchus (slap in your assets) now because you are still blaming that 16 second trek up the steps for that devastating injury to your knees rather than the 16 hours per day you spend off of your feet and on your seat…literally!

So many peops, kvetch about aching joints including knees, wrists, back and hips and are clueless to the fact that if their “shut down” muscles were woken up again, their joints wouldn’t be taken the brunt of the movement. HMM, are you one of these peops? I superbly address all of your gripes in my book, including “I can’t run BECAUSE my knees hurt” which of course should read, “I can’t run SO my knees hurt.”

Texting tendonitis

Texting Tendonitis? Wait…WHAT?

Even though I LOVE to elaborate on waking up sleeping assets (mainly the “glutes”) as a cure for most knee pain, I made the push-up the focus of this blog because most women will avoid it like the plague. In fact, I am usually the only woman in any class doing manly push-ups as well as planks on my hands. Too many women (and some men too) complain of “painful” or “weak” wrists and actually avoid exercises that will beautifully strengthen the muscles of hands, the forearms and upper arms allowing wrists to basically come along for the ride and be pain free. In fact, more doctors see WAY more sedentary peops with texting tendonitis than wrist pain due to push-ups, planks, or lots of “downward dogs” in Yoga. Ask your favorite orthopedist for yourself.

I couldn’t do one push-up in my twenties

You might have caught a glimpse of this beaut in a previous blog post

Bethy white hair

No this is not a zoo creature, this is moi’ at 19.


And you can read much more about my transition from punk queen to Asset Queen in the book. At my ripe old age of 19 I was more likely to tattoo a skull on my assets than to actually move them. It wouldn’t shock you to know that I could not do one push-up for the first few decades of my life. I had lots of aches and ailments including meshuganitis, of course. Among other kvetches, I remember my right wrist always hurting in school and then subsiding in the summer. (HMM…writing rather than texting tendonitis.) Fast forward to fit and fiftyish Bethy…

Bethy pushup

I can do dozens of push-ups and my wrists NEVER hurt! Of course, I make all of my clients do push-ups, planks and downward dogs and I don’t hear one kvetch about the wrists. Keep in mind, I am younger than almost all of my clients, including this legendary duo…

 

 

 

 

 

Dick and dottie plank

Meet 79 year young Dots, the energizer bunny, and her studly 82 year young hubby Dick

 

There are 640ish muscles in the body…

…and many of us have literally “shut down” HALF of them by placing them up on cinder blocks for the past 30 years, kinda like that jalopy in your neighbors driveway. Practicing push-ups, planks and down dogs will not only get your arms fit and lean and diminish the appearance of upper arms that seemingly flap in the wind when there is no wind, they can literally STOP needless wrist and elbow pain. It’s time to stop using that horrendous hopscotch injury that you sustained in middle school as the culprit behind your current kvetching and move your assets NOW. Even if it means skipping the drive-thru and actually walking into Starbucks when you get your 800 calorie Mocha Choca lata yaya!! Don’t get me started about lattes, and drive-thrus, and shopping carts, OH MY!

Love my AQ wisdom? You can read lots more in my book, Move Your Assets: From the Chair, Not the Bank! 

Bethanne Weiss B.S., is an Orlando based motivational speaker, author, and ACE-certified fitness and nutrition profession with 30 years of moving assets from chairs and changing lives. MoveYourAssets.com

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Email: Bethanne@moveyourassets.com

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