March 6, 2014 The Asset Queen

Urgent message from the asset queen: Move your assets OR ELSE! Part II

A picture is worth a thousand words

Most of you know that I’ve been preoccupied with some tough life events that have been preventing me from delighting you with my loving quips and inspirational tips for quite some time. It’s been tough to get back in the groove and blog all my creative ways to motivate your assets to move.

I asked for some divine inspiration from above…

Angel… something so meaningful and profound that words would just start pouring out of my brain like an open fire hydrant; a snapshot so all encompassing and meaningful that it would (unfortunately) solidify the fact that most of us are sitting on their assets WAY more than we are moving them. And here is the masterpiece that I stumbled upon:

Starbucks drive thru

Please pause and absorb the profoundness of this metaphor for my entire life’s work…move your assets or else!

Can you guess where I am?

No, I am absolutely not in one of the TWELVE cars on the drive thru line at Starbucks and you better not be either when I scroll in closely to check! Not one person has a brood of 6 children nor was there a winter blizzard; in fact it was beautiful and about 75 degrees…we are in freakin’ Florida people!!

I will never understand the benefits of a drive up window…never! I parked in the next lot so I had further to walk, got in and out of Starbucks (with just a regular coffee and not a high calorie mocha choca lata yaya) while each car on the labyrinth of a line got to move up one spot by the time I walked back out…I kid you not! Plus I got to get up off my assets and burn a few extra calories.

Most people obviously do not share the same philosophy as me and are suffering many consequences as a result. In my previous Urgent message from the asset queen, I warned that if you decide to throw the towel in on your asset moving, be prepared for some seriously undesirable consequences such as not being able to move your assets, even for a simple walk, without causing injury to knees, hips, back, bones and other organs.

Grab a piece of paper

Go ahead and write all of the benefits that sitting on your assets on a drive up window gives you…go ahead rattle them off. HMMM, ok! Now with the same piece of paper, the one that is still blank because you couldn’t think of any duh, go ahead and fire off all of the benefits that getting up off of your assets and actually going into that joint will give ya! Being one of the first to exit will be one of them, I can promise you that!

You will be taking lots of pop quizzes, like this, in my upcoming book: Move Your Assets: From the Chair Not the Bank. The Am I a lazy cow quiz is one of my favs. I can guarantee that if you check off most of the boxes on this quiz then you will have most of the hypokinetic ailments listed in Section II. Hint: hypo means under or less and kinetic means motion. Another hint: high BP, type II diabetes, back pain and many other diseases comprise this list. Oh and number two on this quiz happens to ask if you  use drive up windows quite frequently.


Moral of the story

If you want to pass the Am I a lazy cow quiz than you better start skipping the drive thru, park a little further and actually walk, take the steps and not the elevator, make asset moving appointments rather than asset sitting appointments have walks with friends rather than words with friends. Heed my warning or you will be using a scooter in a few years and I’m not referring to the cool Italian kind!